Thank you for sharing. I am sorry for the heaviness of this. Of course you know the truth, and you didn’t miss cancer that was there a long time before symptoms showed up in front of you. Allow me to take a big rock out of the bag for you. You did right by him, even to the end.
I am circling back because I am having an exceptionally busy week on service. I have had three people die and one more very young person on their way and am navigating many dynamics.
I agree getting attached is ok. It can often be beautiful if you can embrace the absolute privilege it is to be allowed to be a part of this. I suspect in the nursing homes you have similar experience as in the ICU. End of life is just a reality. I tell the team all the time, folks only die once. So how we do it echoes forever for them and their family. Being the conductor of this train is often where I feel like I have accomplished the most. And quite often I take something with me. The album I keep in my mind is special.
And, it is a gift to be able to have this perspective when I walk back into my non-work life. I have deep appreciation for all my relationships.
Very nice of you to post this. Yes we are the conductors in a way so I try to help people out. One of the things I tell people is this is your chance to build a memory of being there for your loved one in the end. So sad as things are there is an opportunity here.
Not the same, but I just found out that one of my former football players who I worked with for 3 years, and was playing for the Cowboys, passed away last night at the age of 24. He was a super great kid when I worked with him. Hadn’t personally seen him for a few years after I went to a different University, but definitely hitting a little harder than I would have thought. No cause of death announced yet.
Yeah that would be him. I hadn’t seen that report of what had happened yet. All the stories that I had read hadn’t released a cause of death yet. This makes it hit even harder. As I mentioned he was a great kid when I worked with him. Man that really sucks.
My son is an RN in a regional hospital. In a transitional from ICU area where most people are “on the upswing” of things. But an area where death occurs (more often than your area).
Reading your post….. you gave both patient and family the care and dignity they deserved. It sounds like this patient was going to have this happen no matter how much was done for them (at this stage in life). You gave them and their family the most important thing they could receive. You were present with them at an appropriate level for what they could do that day. You gave them care and dignity and you actually felt for all of them
There’s no greater service you could provide. We are all lucky there are people like you in the health care field.
Yea buddy, I hear you. I worked way too many years in medical centers. I can still remember most of the 100 or so folks that I walked to the rainbow bridge on my watch. It never gets easier, you just do the best you can. Been retired 15 years now and still see some of them in me dreams. We can’t all live forever, but sometimes I wish they would have held on till I was done with my shift. The one that haunts me most is the guy who came to the ER on a Sunday and said he had a dissecting aortic aneurysm, his doc said he should get to the ED as fast as possible. I triaged him,booked an OR room and took him to CT from triage within 5 min. In CT I was holding his hand while we moved him to the table. He looked me in the eye and said “that’s it for me”. I guess he felt the aneurysm blow and knew he was done. We coded the crap out of him in CT, but all knew it was just a formality.
I was doing my institutional pharmacy rotation and we got called to the ER for a code. Pt was an eight month pregnant 13 y/o involved in a car accident. The baby made it, the mother didn’t. Not the easiest of days.